Parenting,  Uncategorized,  What I Wish my Mother Taught Me

Life as a Girl-Dads: What it feels like to raise a daughter from a Father’s perspective

Trevor Gabbidon, author of Daughters Grow Up So Fast: From A Father’s Perspective, joined me on the Podcast this week. We had such an exciting conversation about the intricacies of being a girl dad. I enjoyed listening to him talk about being a father and enjoying the ride and experiences of a girl dad.

The Mind of a Girl Dad

Ever wonder what goes on in the mind of a girl-dad? Trevor and I dive into what goes on in the mind of a dad as he watches his little girl grow up. Trevor and I also discussed how raising girls differs from raising boys and the essential things every young father should know when they become a parent.

Making Changes as a Girl Dad

Children grow up so fast. When a man becomes a father, especially a young father, it speeds up a man’s growth. When Trevor became a dad, he realized that he needed to make changes to his lifestyle, no more hanging out as he did in the past; he realized that he needed to become more helpful and supportive to the mother of his daughter.

Studies have shown that having a daughter can positively impact a father’s brain. This week’s What I Wish Podcast episode is an excellent testament to the effects on the brain when a man becomes a girl dad. Trevor’s experience highlighted for him the tools he lacked as a father. He lacked the tools such as what to do when a girl starts dating, when she starts her cycle, how to discipline a girl, and what she needs to prepare for the future.

Disciplining a Boy vs. Disciplining a Girl

Every child wants to be loved. Discipline should correct behavior with love. It is vital to a girl’s growth and self-worth to be taught that love never hurts. A father is responsible for teaching his daughter that physical, mental, and emotional abuse should not be tolerated. A dad is also responsible for determining the best approach when correcting his little girl to ensure that behavior is corrected without causing pain or harm.

Trevor and I talked about the importance of not normalizing physical abuse as a form of love for a young girl; she will grow up believing that physical abuse is a form of love and will be more susceptible to accepting abuse from her future partner.

The Best Kind of Girl Dads

I am fortunate to have one of the best human beings as my stepdad. I use my stepdad as the gold standard for the best girl dad. What makes the best girl dad?

  1. Affirming your daughter
  2. Be vulnerable with your daughter.
  3. Be the Best Example of how a partner should treat her
  4. Encourage her strengths and uniqueness
  5. Find Ways to Boost their Self-Esteem
  6. Have an open line of communication


Trevor presented five tips for young fathers.

  1. Be ready for what life will throw at you when you become a father.
  2. Don’t hurt your child while you are in the process of adjusting to fatherhood.
  3. Be mindful not to hurt the child if your relationship falls apart.
  4. Put on your big boy pants and be as present as possible
  5. Be the dad that you wanted as a child.

Thanks for exploring this topic with me.

Idara Joy

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  • Michelle Latinovich

    This is a powerful and very meaninful post! I think Trevor’s points of veing vulnerable with your daughter and being the best example of how her partner should treat her are hugely important. I enjoyed reading his thoughts and look forward to reading his book, “Daughters grow up so fast: A Father’s perspective.”

  • Debbie

    Such a great post! I think my favorite portion was to “put on your big boy pants and be as present as possible.” Trevor offers some insightful tips. Thank you for sharing!

  • Lindsey

    This is such a great article! I love the idea of affirming your daughter and being present. This is a good reminder for all parents. I appreciate your honesty and heart in this piece and look forward to more.

    • IdaraJoy

      I am so glad you enjoyed reading it. I believe that one of the most important things we can do for our daughter is to affirm them.

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