My daughter will turn 8 years old this year. Eight years old! I can’t even begin to fathom how we got here. I watch her as she grows each day and I want the days to slow down just a bit because there are so many lessons that I want her to learn. So many things I want to share with her. One important lesson I want to teach her is how to have and set expectations.
Teach Your Daughter to Set Expectations
One of the lessons I want my daughter to learn is the importance of setting expectations. I wish I learned to set expectations from a young age because it would have saved me so much time. It is important for a young lady to have expectations for herself and for others.
Set Expectation of how she wants to be treated
It is important that as a girl grows she builds up her self esteem, by understanding her likes and dislikes. Including how people should treat her. One way to teach this lesson is by modeling the behavior. As the mother of a girl, I make sure to use every opportunity to teach my daughter that she should not be disrespected. That she should use her voice, that she should assert herself when necessary. When she comes home from school upset about how a friend treated her, I remind her that she can and should stand up for herself. She can always speak to her teacher if someone hurts her feelings and also tell the friend that she does not like how she has been treated.
Set Expectation for the People She Will Call Friends
I have very few friends, but the friends I do have are loyal, supportive and loving. They accept me for who I am, they are my cheerleaders even when my ideas and actions are uncertain and questionable.
I want my daughter to learn to choose her friends wisely by setting expectations for those friends. Because this will help others to understand her boundaries. My expectations are simply that those I choose to call friends are, to be honest with me, communicate clearly with me when I have hurt them and are supportive of me and are willing to pull me up when I fall.
Teach your daughter to set expectations for her friends. Give her the tools to determine whether or not the people around her have met those expectations. Give her the tools to also know when to walk away from friends who do not meet the expectations. It would encourage you to also support the growth of your daughter by teaching her to be respectful of her friends as well.
Set Expectations for How Men Treat Her
This one is a bit more tricky and requires the assistance and support of a father or a father figure. My husband and I work at modeling this expectation for our young daughter, by making sure that we are intentional about how we speak to each other in her presence.
Since my kids could understand the concept of birthdays and holidays, my husband makes sure that they are involved in the gifting process. For example every holiday, my husband takes my kids to the store and they each get me a card in addition to the one my husband purchases. For my birthday a year ago, my husband gifted me an Apple Watch, he made sure to go with my daughter to pick out the strap she felt mommy would like.
Teaching a girl to set expectations enables her to understand the importance of standards and builds self-esteem and will limit her need for unnecessary attention. Share the lessons you have or will be teaching your daughter.
thanks for exploring this topic with me.