At least once a week, I say to my son, “how am I so lucky that God blessed me with you?” I mean that with every part of me. My son is the sweetest, most sensitive, and beautiful soul I have ever met.
All Boy Moms Think Their Sons are The Best
I was having a conversation with my mother in law about marriage. The conversation turned to how wonderful her son is. I agree with her; my husband is awesome. One of the best choices I made in life was agreeing to marry him. But my conversation with my mother in law made me realize that the son she believes she raised isn’t the husband I married. Her impression of her son and my experience of her son are totally different.
The Son You Raise and the Husband He Becomes will be Two Different people.
First, I want all boy moms to understand and accept the fact that the wonderful, sweet boy you raise will not be the same person his spouse marries.
- If your son gives you hugs you every day, he may not hug his wife every day.
- Your son texting you several times a day while at school or college, does not mean that he will do the same when he marries.
- Your son surprising you with drawings as a child and then cards and gifts as an adult does not mean that he will do the same for his spouse.
- Your son might be logical and rational in his decision making, and your son might seek your advice before he makes a decision, but he may not give his spouse the same courtesy.
Teach Your Son to Love Their Wives
We should raise our sons to understand the importance of being good to his wife, not good by his definition but good based on her reasonable expectations.
While it may be true that no better man has been born before your son, there is a girl out there that will become his wife, and she is a gift to the world as well. We moms owe that little girl the favor of teaching our sons to love her, to understand her needs, and work with her to ensure both of their expectations are met.
Teach Your Son that His Future Wife Had a Life before he came along.
In my mother-in-law’s perspective, her son is the best gift to the world and me. While I agree that my husband was a wonderful gift and addition to my life, I lived an entire life before I met him.
I want my son to understand that the following things about his future wife;
- She is someone’s daughter.
- She enjoyed certain topics in school and hated others.
- She likes certain foods and dislikes others.
- Her preference for friends may be different from his choice of friends.
- She managed her finances before he came into her life, whether he agrees with her methods or not is irrelevant.
- She was capable of styling her hair without input from others.
- She picked her own wardrobe and got dressed all by herself.
We should teach our sons to accept and appreciate the girl his future spouse was before he met her because all of her experiences make up the woman he has chosen to marry.
Teach Your Son to Support His Future Spouse.
I have experienced pride from my husband when he is supportive of my endeavors. I have also experienced my husband’s disapproval when he is not supportive of my decisions or actions.
The instances when I have his support, I stand a bit taller. Simply because my husband is my partner, and it feels good to have your partner support you. However, when I do not have his full support, my confidence is a bit shaken.
We should teach our sons the importance of supporting his future spouse, not after he has married her but from day one. If she makes a decision that he disagrees with, he should still give the support she needs.
I am not insisting that a girl cannot succeed without the support of a man. But a wife that has the support of her life partner does make success that much sweeter.
My daily interaction with my son teaches me something new. I hope these little tips enable you to think about your son’s future as husband and partner.
What lessons are you instilling in your son?
thanks for exploring this topic with me
I have three girls. I hope they meet men who know these important lessons.
Such a wonderful post. As moms of boys we think they are the sweetest and can do no wrong. We are taught by the generations before us that no woman is good enough. Its so important to break that cycle. Teach our sons how special his wife is, how to cherish and respect her. Im very luck in my marriage, my husband is wonderful. But Im a firm believer that our daughter will learn how she should be treated based on how he treats me…
These are definitely great lessons for son! I agree that daughters should be taught to be independent and stand up for what they believe.
Although the son may not turn into the same man, all the lessons you mentioned above are important, such as getting and giving hugs. This shows him what affection looks like.
Basically, based on your post, we should raise our sons to believe that their future wives should be treated as friends.
Thank you for this post! 🙂
Jen @ JENRON DESIGNS
My mother always used to say your daughter is your daughter for all your life, and your son is your son until he takes a wife. I know that was true of my husband, and for my brother. I think is also goes in line with the saying happy wife happy life…. LOL!