I am always surprised by what little value some women place on themselves when looking for a partner. I am even more baffled at how little expectations women place on men who are potential partners. Being attractive enough for a man has absolutely nothing to do with the man but everything to do with the woman. The goal should be building the confidence that establishes a joy-filled life and not for the benefit of attracting a man.
BECOME PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE
Men are visual beings. They are first attracted to your physical appearance before anything else. However, a man’s opinion of your physical appearance should not guide your need to become physically healthy, but your need to be attractive for yourself should guide the need for good physical health.
Schedule time to walk outside, bike or join a dance class. Whatever you do, make sure it’s fun. Daily exercise naturally produces stress-relieving hormones in your body and improves your overall physical health. Become Physically attractive for yourself, that in and of itself will be attractive to others. Eat well, drink water, exercise; work hard to ensure you are physically attractive to the world, but most importantly, for yourself.
Become Mentally Attractive by showing yourself some love.
How do you manage your mental health? Are you easily stressed out, do you practice self-care? Becoming mentally healthy means you feel good about yourself, and you show yourself some good love. When you love yourself, you become more attractive and open a door for others to show you, love. Show yourself love, in the following ways.
1. Get Some Sleep.
Get at least 7 hours of sleep every night and if not possible, set a goal of getting 7-8 hours of sleep at least twice a week.
2. You Need A Support Network
I cannot express enough the benefit of having a friend or two that I can run to when needed. A support system is so important because it allows you to have an escape, whether it is after-work drinks with girlfriends, or a girl’s night out of dancing, whatever helps you to decompress. Find a tribe and utilize them as a means to escape from the stressors of daily life. A support network will bring so much joy into your daily life and that will make you more attractive for yourself and to the world.
3. Manage Your Time and Expectation of Other People.
Nothing is more detrimental to one’s mental state than trying to meet the expectation of others. Showing yourself some love means saying yes when you want to and saying no when you need to. This will also enable you to manage your time better because you can spend your time on the things that you want to spend time on and not waste time on things that add no value to your life. Set time for yourself to enjoy life as you wish.
Become Financially Attractive
I will be honest and admit that I never really took money management seriously until after my husband and I were married because I was forced to consider another person and their money habits. Making sense of your own emotions, motivations, and patterns around money will give you empathy for your potential partner, even if your previous experiences are different.
More importantly, being on the right path with your money isn’t just about attracting a mate. It’s about being able to take care of yourself, and that will define your confidence around what you need in a significant other.
Being responsible with your bills, knowledgeable about your cash flow, and proactive with your savings will set you up to know not only what you have but also what you should seek for in a partner. You’ll know your limits, what you can say yes and no to and you won’t have to stay in unhealthy or toxic relationships because you feel financially dependent on that person.
- Budget: Have one in place for savings and for goals like for a home, and entertainment.
- Savings: Have an emergency fund of at least three months’ worth of living expenses (or, preferably, six), or make sure to put aside money for emergencies; plus, sock away money for goals and retirement consistently.
- Spending: Know your triggers, and have strategies in place to keep your spending from going overboard.
Wear That Confidence
Everything boils down to confidence. Finding a life partner is important for so many reasons, but loving yourself and having confidence is the most essential thing you need. Being attractive is really being confident. Good physical health builds your physical confidence. Because when you look good, you feel good. Good mental health builds your confidence because when you take care of yourself and are centered you attract goodness to you. Financial health not only provides assurance in difficult times, but the confidence to ask for what you deserve.
Be sure to self-check periodically by asking yourself the following questions. What brings me happiness? What would I like to accomplish in this life? What brings me a feeling of well-being and contentment? And then quiet the voice in your head that second-guess your choices, and start living for yourself and stop living for others.
Thanks for exploring this topic with me.
Nikki
